"Mature Masculinity" Coach | Executive & Leadership Coach
I awake having lived exactly 65 years, an auspicious amount of time in our culture, calling for reflection and response. Below is the reflection. The response is to offer you a gift for my birthday.
In the most important ways body, primary relationship, and way of being in the world, my life reflects the plan I laid out for myself at age 18:
“I am a human-based, universal energy being. My purpose is to communicate health, love, joy, compassion, understanding and enthusiasm. I intend inspiration, a good reputation, abundance, leaving things better than I found them. To succeed I must maintain authentic presence, right attitude, follow intuition, constantly learn, remain fit, keep perspective, breathe deeply, cultivate a regular rebirth.”
Body – 47 years later, my body is strong, healthy, flexible and resilient. I weigh almost exactly what I weighed at 18 and I am more fit and am having more joy in this embodiment than ever.
Primary relationship – One of my coaches says “Look across the breakfast table at your mate and know they are, inside and out, a mirror for you.” If that’s true, as I look across at my wife, Olga Kostrova, I see I’m incredibly loving, smart, creative, beautiful, hardworking, sexy, direct, demanding and devoted to conscious, low-consumption living.
Way in the world – We live an abundant, low-consumption life, have zero debt, our bank account continues to grow and we’ve designed a lifestyle that is adventurous and free. We’re spending this winter running our business from a condo on the beach in warm, wonderful Panama. In our business: I write (love), coach (a calling), sell (a practice), speak (a responsibility) and help clients market themselves and their businesses (a blessing). And, we’ve started a new sustainable lifestyle business venture here, and will be launching it in California and Florida this spring.
For 45 years I’ve studied yoga and fitness and been around world-class athletes. Using that knowledge and experience I’ve designed, practice and teach a meditation, Longevity Meditation and an exercise system for Baby Boomers, PleasureStretch.
I’ve ridden the Wheel of Life up and down many times.
I’ve faced the dark night of my soul.
I don’t believe anything and I believe in everything.
To paraphrase Nisargadatta Maharaj, when I look outside myself with love, I see that I am everything and there is only oneness. When I look inside myself with wisdom, I see that I am nothing and there is only space.
I notice that everything contains everything else and cannot be understood separate from its environment; that a leaf contains, as do we, sun, wind, earth, water, fire, ether, something of the energy of every other being and thing.
I notice that it’s hurt people who hurt people.
I notice this is a dynamic and emergent reality where there is nothing worthy of belief, and observe everything is only a current hallucination or close approximation and here for us to play with and improve.
I “get” that once I reach a conclusion, I am left only to validate and defend it. Said another way:
I’ve learned the hard way about shadows, projections, thoughts and feelings and how my fearful ego uses them to protect itself, hurt you, sabotage me, judge all of “them” and ignore the fact that everything I think and feel is an illusion I overlay onto the transcendental, mysterious experience of living.
I could go on for days with pearls from my 65 years of study and experience, but before blowing out my birthday candle today, here’s the gift.
A wise one wrote, “The challenge of being a sage is to be able to look into the dark and not be afraid.” Death is coming, and even though it might still be far away, I know it’s coming. That fact and this birthday make me responsible to start passing on what I’ve learned.
People pay me $hundreds an hour for coaching. Many are people raised without fathers or by fathers who were emotionally unavailable. Those I coach benefit from my being a safe, elder, male, able to “see” them and bless them in ways they’ve never experienced on their journey. If they are willing to do the work, I’m able to help them release old wounds, drop self-sabotaging behaviors, find balance and actual joy in their success, to finally be able to rest, feel safe and at peace. Single mothers sense when an older man’s energy is what their teens or twenties child needs. Those who know they can do more are attracted to someone who has done so much. Those lost and afraid can stop fighting because there’s no one left here to fight.
So with gratitude for the understanding of my regular clients, my gift to 65 “qualified” members of this tribe is 30 minutes of free coaching via Skype or Google Hangout. Reach out at jan @ janhutchins.com to discuss and work out arrangements to sit together. Qualified = committed, willing to be challenged, willing to allow themselves to be seen.
Happy birthday! 🙂
My executive coaching recognizes organizations reflect the personality of their leaders. I work with individuals to making improvements in their awareness of their inner processes, beliefs and patterns. We then identify the best conscious choices to replace what we agree is ineffective. We co-create practices to ground the new choices into positive habits and ways of being. From this place of improved inner excellence, the executive’s education, experience and insight can emerge more effectively and productivity and culture in their organization improves accordingly.
My speaker profile with current speeches can be found here.
“Peace is not a result of victory. The real peace comes when you lose all the battles, and fully surrender to what is. Then there is nothing more to win. Yet then there is no peace to lose…” Olga Kostrova
My wife’s insight opens me to why I think my executive coaching sessions serve clients so well.
I’ve won big and lost big during my lifetime. Life’s Wheel of Fortune eventually spins one out to the edge and anxiety, holding on for dear life; or the spinning pulls one into the center, where, like an axle, the ups and downs and twists and turns can be watched from a place of relative peace. I’ve won and lost enough during these 60 plus years to be reasonably detached from winning and losing. This creates space for the client, room to accept of whatever comes up for the client, a comfort that supports transformation through barriers previously too connected to old fears for the client to step through alone.
I’m surprised to often hear from people that I carry blessing energy and everyone, as a human need, wants to be blessed, seen. Men especially, regardless of their level of accomplishment, at their core appreciate being seen and blessed by an elder. It’s tribal, in our genes.
I’m no longer surprised when clients come to us (SocialAgenda Media) for business reasons – PR, marketing and business development, but soon realize there are internal blocks, old beliefs and protective habits involved in creating the business issues. In sports coaches use the term “take what the defense gives you” that implies there is always room to move forward because the offense controls the ball and gets to choose the play. In sports the cliché is used to keep players from becoming greedy or trying too hard to score and thus making mistakes.
Once clients have done this inner work, it’s easier for us to help them identify their real mission and vision that drive their business.
When we look inside the blocks, beliefs and habits make us greedy, need to prove something to ourselves or others and keep us from taking what the defense gives us. “Few of the very rich credit their success to being smart. They say the keys to success are being honest and disciplined, getting along with people, having a supportive spouse and working hard. They usually work hard, save diligently, and live far below their means. They knew what they wanted, modeled the successes of other successful people, made plans, took action, and stayed the course despite their fears and doubts.”
In other words they took what the defense gave them and depended on the easy to see, hard to believe (if I’m wounded and can’t imagine life is actually wanting me to succeed) basics available to us all.
I find ways to get my clients to see what Rob Brezny wrote about in his book Pronoia, “Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of retraining your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.”
I call my work executive coaching but you needn’t have a title to contact me. I’ll make space for you…
Yours truly, Jan Hutchins
By Jan Hutchins, CEO SocialAgenda Media
I answered the phone feeling great. I was in Hawaii, after all, and the previous call had been to inform me I’d just won election to the Los Gatos, California town council and received the most votes among the candidates. “Jan Hutchins here!” I eagerly answered, “How can I help you?”
“I’m with the (San Jose) Mercury News and we’re following up on a story,” said the voice on the other end, “Someone’s accusing you of being unpatriotic and against the Pledge of Allegiance.”
Thus began a weeklong adventure and education inside a media shit storm. Constant calls for comment, TV reporters waiting outside my home, an appearance on Ronn Owens’ highly rated KGO radio talk show, and pro-con attitudes in my face everywhere I went.
The facts hardly mattered. I had given the pledge while speaking at a service club during the campaign and, when asked, said I substituted, ideals for flag in the opening phrase describing that I was “pledging my allegiance to the ideals (vs flag) of the United States of America”. It seemed like an obvious improvement to me since my allegiance is not to the piece of cloth but to the ideals it represents. Silly me.
Thank goodness for having enough wisdom not to try to change those who either didn’t understand symbolism or were “triggered” beyond reason. By basically saying only the phrase “I do pledge my allegiance to the ideals of the United States of America and am willing to stand by that statement.” The firestorm blew over in a week, the dispensers of drama had moved on.
The lessons I took from this that apply to crisis response are:
Say only what you want to have heard, written about the subject.
Don’t feel obliged to answer the questions asked. Reporters are after a story; they are not your friends. You only owe them respect.
Crisis can be a time to identify the ineffective habits learned in your past.
Use the opportunity to unlearn any reaction to act from anger, control others, and/or defensively react to feeling emotional pain.
Ask for the serenity to accept the things you cannot change; the courage to change the things you can; and wisdom to know the difference. (From The Serenity Prayer)
As hard as it might be to believe, have the compassion to recognize that people are usually doing the best they can. Judgmental pricks… (It’s the best I can do, really!)
It never hurts to say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” See the suffering in the other that is motivating an attack on you and remember it’s hurt people who hurt people.
Resentment is literally heavy to carry; while forgiveness releases energy and frees you.
Recently a digital discussion of our business model at our company, SocialAgenda Media, offered an opportunity to practice these lessons. See my partner/wife’s blog about it here.
A reporter showed one of our letters, “I supply you with fully developed stories (completed articles) that you can publish under your byline, with or without editing, at no fee.” to an Internet blogger and some of the reactions and opinions about what we do were so harsh my wife shielded me from it. You can read her responses in the comment thread of the article. BTW, She’s got a great skirt for me to hide behind ;-).
As so often happens the conversation came to be about symptoms, in this case, the not so slow death of newspaper journalism and who’s to blame for the ripples radiating out from the disaster, rather than the core failed business model problem that begs for an open-minded search for solutions, including new ways to fund accountability and investigative journalism in this era of the Internet and corporate media consolidation.
SocialAgenda Media is attempting to support the continued existence of quality journalism using a new business model that will be able to support the work of journalists and viability of newspapers and magazines in new ways as the old ways die.
The prohibition against even the appearance of money being exchanged for information in journalism rests on the concern it will give consumers a bad impression. The implication that association with money automatically makes the content unreliable taken to its conclusion, makes all content coming out of any enterprise suspect. Pew Research statistics show believability of newspapers and TV news and information down to around 50% and falling fast, hardly a recommendation for maintaining the status quo.
For the record, I seek ways to finance getting good ideas, people and products the exposure they deserve in the hope the information will make a positive difference in their and our worlds. It’s as simple, and apparently for some as complex, as that. For more on the topic of paying journalists
by Jan Hutchins, CEO of SocialAgenda Media.
Disaster always sets the stage for opportunity, fresh growth, new perspective. The demise of paper-based journalism threatens to put down our watchdog, weaken the forces that traditionally comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, eliminate the institutions in our society which enforce civic accountability through their ability to expose and hold other institutions accountable.
How can we create an economic model that supports investigative and accountability journalism? I say we start with beauty and work our way to truth.
I’m here to cut through the problem, disrupting the existing business model, to help media break even or even make money acquiring first rate content.
I’m here to help entrepreneurs rethink their publicity process to obtain guaranteed media coverage where traditional PR can’t. I do it bypassing press releases and media pitches – I investigate, come up with a story that is relevant for editorial and develop articles that media is interested to publish. Both win. Media get quality content – visionaries get their dreams told and gain an audience for their idea.
I help business leaders whose ideas I believe in, build their brand and deepen their relationship with their vision along the way. I enable cash-strapped publications facing increased competition to finance content research and production.
It takes time and resources to get an idea developed into a comprehensive story that actually has meaningful editorial value. That’s what I offer to my clients. I want to share with you this different way to obtain media coverage.
More than ever businesses need favorable publicity and quality content for social engagement, and they need both to cost less. Media outlets need quality content to retain existing and attract new audiences, and also need it to cost less.
Have you ever worked with a PR agency? And how was your experience? Business owners or marketing executives know that your retainer does not guarantee you coverage.
Print media now, and television in the coming years, face the possibility their business models no longer work. Even digital media struggles with low barriers to entry and increased competition. Everyone acknowledges content is King. Publications need to produce better content at lower cost, ideally for free, to hold on until they find a new model.
And we can offer them what want. We give them your story.
I’ll tell you more, but first let me share this… My passion for this was born in 1969 in New Haven, CT. I had just been tear-gassed.
I remember feeling disappointed. My eyes were burning, but nothing like I’d imagined they would after being so close to the “action”. We were gathered in the TV room in our dorm at Yale, still breathless from the dash back from the front lines.
We’d ventured out that day fortified (and pacified) by the brown rice and salad the Yale administrators were feeding to students and protestors. I wen to see the Yippees (Youth International Party) who had come to town to provoke police and put things into perspective with their genius form of street theater.
National guard troops lining the streets of New Haven had fired tear gas to disperse rock throwers there protesting Black Panther Party national chairman Bobby Seale being tried for murder conspiracy. The courthouse was just across a small city park from Yale. Our campus had become the latest stop on the rolling revolution that was the 60’s in America. Our front-row seats to the show were close enough we got a strong whiff of the tear gas.
Now, with the events of the day behind us, adrenaline subsiding, we were ready for reviews of the drama from none other than Walter Cronkite! Uncle Walter as we called him, was the icon of journalism for his generation. It seemed my whole life he’d reassured me each evening by ending his broadcasts with “And that’s the way it is.”
Amazingly our drama wasn’t the lead story. We had to wait until the third segment of the CBS Evening News to see “how it was”. As it turned out it wasn’t like it was. The report of the event we’d just been part of bore only a slight resemblance to my experience and when Uncle Walter confidently ended the broadcast with “And…That’s the way it is” my world had changed forever.
Neither the FBI nor the Black Panthers nor my relationship with journalism was ever the same again; all had lost credibility thanks to the confusion and illusion they were selling.
40 years later, 20 of them spent becoming increasingly disillusioned as a TV journalist, I’m still seeking a way to make Uncle Walter’s words “and that’s the way it is” ring true again. How can I do what I love, tell good stories about people and ideas and feel I’m contributing to the world, rather than reporting mind numbing crap to help sell commercials for some media conglomerate.
Journalism as I knew it is gone forever. It’s so bad the cruel and comedic suggest newspapers should title their obit section “Subscriber Countdown.”
There are wonderful insights to be consumed about why and where it all might be headed. Research Clay Shirky’s work!
He says, get ready to live in a world where media that’s targeted at you but doesn’t include you is not worth your time to consume.
I’ve watched the career challenges faced by my journalist and media management friends, and I’ve watched, and been, an entrepreneur struggling to get media coverage without spending a fortune on PR agencies that don’t always deliver results. So I’ve decided to use my passion for discovering and telling a good story to get editors meaningful content at the same time I help entrepreneurs get, at minimal cost, the notice they deserve.
I write with passion and my whole life I have been communicating about the human drama with its dreams, splendid successes and hard life lessons in ways that have produced PR, political and personal brand success. I choose to work with business owners who need someone to help them draw out the passion at the core of their business and get their story told in a way that it gets picked up by the media.
Here’s how I work:
I don’t produce press releases that struggle to be seen in the avalanche of competition. I don’t produce press releases at all, really. How many newsworthy events does your company really have? But… we can tell stories, approaching your distinction and value proposition from different angles.
I uncover the differentiating nuances, add memorable elements to the story about you, your business, industry, the needs you fill, or problems you solve. I write it as an objective but passionate journalism/literature piece, and place it in media relevant to your demographics, generating positive brand perception and public awareness. Often the coverage offers search engine advantages due to inbound links, and provokes relevant social media conversations.
I save businesses money and guarantee results and, at the same time, save publications money and write compelling stories relevant to their audience.
Video interviews, video case studies, corporate TV channel development.
Contact me, see if we share your vision and can work together to get you the audience you deserve.
Book Jan to speak at your event.
by Jan Hutchins, CEO of SocialAgenda Media.
One of effectiveness “guru” Steven Covey’s gems is his recommendation that communication works best if one seeks to clearly understand the “other” before seeking to communicate one’s ideas or information to the “other.” People like to feel heard and understood before being comfortable giving their full attention and trust to someone. It’s at the core of all marketing.
Since words have meaning, or at least are intended to, let’s consider what prospect engagement seems to mean today as opposed to what at least Covey and this threory say it really means.
When I goog-learn about the topic I get:
• Building engagement is really about improving the quality of the buying cycle
• It’s the delivery of consistently valuable marketing interactions across the buying cycle.
• Nothing builds relationship better than two-way communication.
• You must create a steady stream of useful, relevant information.
• Becoming the go-to resource for information and educational materials that keep your prospect at the top of his game
• Collaboration occurs in forums, discussion boards and group sites
• Create interesting, compelling content, people will likely come back for more.
• You must trust your audience as much as you’re asking them to trust you.
• Prospect Engagement Outline is a sales technique of the Value Forward Selling approach and enables you to be “professionally blunt.”
• Catch a prospect’s attention with compelling content
• Engage to convert a prospect into a customer
• Give them multiple reasons to grow their business with us
• Deliver outstanding value and foster customer loyalty
• Re-engage and reactivate high-potential former customers
• Rescue customer relationships on shaky ground?
Ask any marketer about whether it’s important to know the customer and the answer will be yes. Yet just as we know selling is about the pain/problem, we often find ourselves talking more about the wonderful solution we have and losing the sale. In the same accidental way, we too often find ourselves thinking about the customer like he, she, they are objects to be manipulated rather than people actually needing to be understood. Understandable considering the pressure to perform we’re all facing, yet still fundamentally wrong.
Looking back at the Goog-learn list above, only the one in bold seems to fully adhere to the Covey theory.
• When you look at your prospect engagement strategy are you REALLY seeking to understand, empathize and communicate with them about their problem before trying to get them to hear your wonderful solution?
• Do you REALLY know their buying process and where they are on the buying cycle so you know how to tailor your marketing to them appropriately, or are you losing sales by pushing too soon or not identifying early enough?
• Would drip marketing better nurture your sales cycle process?
• Are you trying out enough small tests to know when to take the big shot at your market?
• Are you doing the math so you REALLY know how many opportunities and how many leads it takes to generate a sale and building your plans accordingly?
The list above does acknowledge the importance of good content as the currency driving marketing today, but are your selections REALLY targeting the customer you’re seeking and leading to the brand you’re trying to build?
Forgive me for asking so many questions; I’m only seeking to better understand you so we can have a more effective conversation. 😉